Over the past 20 plus years of running Tall Spaghetti and working with clients, I have developed an approach that I believe in. At the heart of this has been a curiosity about what works and what matters.
My own ongoing exploration of personal development and the insights I've gained along the way have also helped shape this, alongside my formal training in NLP, mindfulness and coaching.
Here are some key principles, beliefs and ways of working that run through all of my training and coaching.
In Tall Spaghetti training and coaching sessions, there is an ambiance of care, respect, sensitivity, humanity and non-judgment. It feels safe.
The style is relaxed and informal. There's no expectation to have the right answers or be anything other than who you are and where you are. This enables you to reflect, speak and explore the matter at hand with openness and honesty.
In group sessions, it also enables you to participate, share and benefit from connecting with others. You can learn from one another and recognise that you're not alone in your experiences.
People are different. We each have our own needs, wants, personalities and contexts, as well as our own level of readiness for personal development. So development shouldn't be one-size-fits-all.
Tall Spaghetti training and coaching is not prescriptive. Sessions have plenty of room for interaction. People are encouraged to contribute their own thoughts and ideas. I listen and respond to what people bring. People have the chance to explore and discover what works uniquely for them.
This supports individuals to flourish in their own wonderful way.
How you are on the inside influences how you work and experience life. The ‘inside’ includes your thoughts, mindset, emotional state, physiology and energy.
We can become preoccupied with what is happening externally: tasks, demands, circumstances and what needs doing. In amongst all of this, the person can get overlooked. In training and coaching, you'll get a chance to focus on you. It’s an opportunity to turn some attention inward, to explore and better understand your internal world.
When we are more internally resourced, we can go about our day in a more effective and enjoyable way.
Awareness is the starting point of positive change. Tall Spaghetti training and coaching gives you space to pause, take stock and reflect on your experience.
This enables you to become more aware of what matters to you, what you need and what you want. It's a chance to connect to yourself.
It also helps you recognise patterns that may be happening automatically and outside your awareness. Some serve you; others don't. Recognising these patterns gives you greater freedom from them.
Personal development involves looking at ourselves and our experience. This may include things that are difficult or not how we'd like them to be.
An attitude of kindness helps us look at things, rather than turn away. It also honours our humanity and the truth of our experience.
Change and development are usually a process, rather than instant, and they may not always follow a linear path. Patience can help us stay level and stay engaged.
Curiosity is another really powerful stance. It allows us to explore openly and see what we can discover.
In training and coaching, I encourage curiosity, patience and kindness, along with any other attitudes that help you to engage well with personal development.
Thoughts have a powerful influence on our experience. They affect our confidence, emotions, energy, well-being and behaviour.
But we are not our thoughts and thoughts aren't necessarily facts. We don't have to simply believe, follow or get caught up in every thought. We can become more skilful in how we relate to our thinking. We can direct the torch beam of our attention towards things that serve us better or look through a different frame.
Tall Spaghetti training and coaching helps you to be less entangled in unhelpful thinking patterns and to develop greater flexibility of mind..
Our thoughts, feelings, physiology and behaviour are like our inner and outer mechanics. They are interlinked. They influence one another in all directions. And they contribute to the outcomes we get. This is the ‘structure of experience’.
For example, how we think can affect how we feel and act. How we use our body, such as changing our posture or moving, can also affect how we feel and think. Any component part can affect the others.
When you see how the component parts interact, you can recognise where you might do something differently. You now have a number of levers you can pull to influence the wider system and potentially create a different outcome. This increased awareness of the structure of experience gives you greater agency.
We can get caught up in habits and patterns, perhaps without even realising it. Sometimes we feel stuck. We may see things one way and not recognise that there are alternatives.
Through increasing awareness, recognising patterns, understanding how our experience works and developing greater flexibility of mind, new possibilities can come into sight. Having more options can be liberating.
We can experiment with these new options, without pressure. We can test them in our lives, refine them, discard them or keep them.
As we gain more information and experience about what works for us, we can make more intentional choices that serve the outcomes we want.
Tall Spaghetti training and coaching is about making a genuine, meaningful difference in people's lives. I take care that ideas and tools make sense, are easy to understand and remember, and are things you can actually use.
What you learn can be taken beyond the session and put into practice as you navigate work and life.
Past patterns don't need to dictate future ones. We can learn, adapt and develop new capacities. We are not fixed.
Neuroplasticity shows us that the brain can change throughout our lives.
New ways of thinking and acting may require more conscious attention at first. But through practice and repetition, what was new can become second nature.
I've seen this time and again through my work. People develop new, more skilful ways of being and working that become part of how they naturally operate.